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I love fireworks and if I can't find someone else to create them for me, I will create my own.
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A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband called out "Perhaps you should hear how all this came about. . ."
I was driving home on the highway when I saw this young woman looking tired and bedraggled. I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten about in the fridge. She was bare-footed so I gave her your good sandals which you had discarded because they had gone out of style. She was cold so I gave
her the sweater which I bought for you for your birthday but you never wore because the color didn't suit you. Her pants were torn, so I gave her a pair of your jeans, which were perfectly good, but too small for you now.
"Then just as she was about to leave, she asked, 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore ?'"
After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the
obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a
little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black
hair, one of your ancestors my have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Oriental." "Well," said
the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man
seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year.
We only made love once or twice a month." "There you have it!" the doctor
said confidently. "It's just rust."
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